Meg, I am the son of a now deceased USAF RB47 and B52 pilot. My father knew your dad very well and came from a generation of aircrew that trained men like your father. My father had a lot of respect for him and I do think he has been generally maltreated by many. I think after growing up and spending my life as a dependent until I joined the Marines I have an idea of how these guys are. Characteristics that are now chided in the reports and other descriptions of USAF pilots were once characteristics that were often up to a point well regarded and hot pilots were looked up to and many did push the envelope to a point.
You say there is no proof that Bud was at the controls. I am afraid that doesn't really ring true. He was the AC commander and whether he had his hands on the "stick" or not he was undeniably in control of that AC. That is called leadership and command.
Now at 47 yrs and after having spent most of my life around leaders, being a leader myself and also being around strong, cocky and maybe even what can be described as men having massive egos (me included) we live and breath and sometimes by our actions. When we lead we lead completely even when we fail. We don't make excuses, we offer reasons why something happened and we take responsibility. Very few here if any can imagine what your family went through. I won't bother to try and explain it to those on this thread. I do know my father spoke to your family post accident.
Anyhow, I won't belabor the point but I hope you may take some comfort in this thought. your father was a leader. regardless of the circumstances his last moments were spent understanding that regardless of anything else it was his responsibility. I guarantee that were he here today he would not make excuses he may offer reasons and explanations but never excuses. He was a leader and for better or worse many of his peers did hold him in high regard.
Take care,
John K
